Thursday, December 15, 2005

KIng Kong

I saw King Kong last night.

Excellent movie, full of fun, passion, drama and thrills. I recommend it. I can be seen at least 7 times, the most being in the cafe scene and a couple of times in the death of Kong

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

How to be a Man

1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.
2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policemen but even saying it to kids makes you the man
3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.
4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.
5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.
6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're a legend .
7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.
8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does itlook like.
10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".
11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.
12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that Becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.
13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.
14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.
15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.
16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?
17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.
18, TAKING OUT GBP200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.
19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then.Seven. Seeya."
20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.
21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.
22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".
23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad, bint?"
24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized shit.
25, CALLING YOUR MATE A C**T - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in hospital".

Time to smack the penguin

You have to try this.

Christmas Around the World

Christmas is celebrated all around the world. But there are a lot of differences in how people do it. Differences in what they feel, differences in climates, differences in belief.

So how is Christmas celebrated around the world.

This is what Wikipedia has to ay about Christmas in the Netherlands: Sinterklaasavond (St. Nicholas evening) remains more important in the Netherlands than Christmas, although in recent years, the Dutch have started to celebrate Christmas Eve with Santa as well.
This sparks minor controversy each year over when it is "appropriate" to start celebrating Christmas, with shopkeepers preferring to start the lucrative Christmas season immediately after Sinterklaasavond (sometimes putting up decorations even earlier) while others argue that the "foreign" and "commercial" Christmas impinges too much on the traditional Sinterklaas celebrations. Considering the ancestry of Santa Claus, it has truly been said that Sinterklaas is in competition with himself here.

Weird deaths of history

456 BC: Aeschylus, Greek dramatist, according to legend, died when a vulture, mistaking his bald head for a stone, dropped a tortoise on it.
207 BC: Chrysippus, Greek stoic philosopher, is believed to have died of laughter after seeing a donkey eating figs.
1671: François Vatel, chef to Louis XIV committed suicide because his seafood order was late and he couldn't stand the shame of a postponed meal. His body was discovered by an aide, sent to tell him of the arrival of the fish.
1911: Jack Daniel, founder of the famous Tennessee whiskey distillery, died of blood poisoning due to a toe injury he received after kicking his safe in anger when he could not remember its combination code.


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less

Last week I posted a clever article I found on the web The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less. I didnt know who wrote it, but strangely the author Eric Schulman, sent me an email today.

I'm glad you enjoyed my history of the Universe enough to post it here. You might also enjoy the original version, the revised version, and the book I wrote based on the history.

These are worth having a look at.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Ideal stocking filler

The perfect Christmas present for the alpha male to buy his lady this year.

99 p Coin

The ‘Modern Money’ survey by Virgin Money comes as the Royal Mint unveils plans to redesign existing coins to give them a more up to date feel.

But rather than redesigning existing coins, financial boffins at Virgin Money propose the introduction of a 99p coin to prevent the nation wasting unwanted coppers, a move supported by one in three Brits.

The survey showed nearly half the population are frustrated with shopkeepers pricing items at £x.99, giving the impression that an item is better value for money.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Here is a great web site to check out

John Lennon

John Lennon's strange sort of immortality, now 25 years long

He was shot and killed, 25 years ago today, by a mad fan who thought he'd sold out and become a phony.

The Dakota and Strawberry Fields memorial

Giant Jellyfish

How do you tackle an invasion of giant jellyfish? Try making sushi They are 6ft wide and weigh 450lb (200kg),,3-1910322,00.html

Guess which movie

So you think you know your movies? Take the quiz where you are presented with a still from a movie and you have to guess which movie.

Toilet Paper Printer

A crazy new product out of Taiwan seems to be aimed at the feed dependent of us out there. The 'rsstroom reader' is a bathroom gadget that prints news feeds onto your T-P - that's right, your toilet paper! The best part is the "biometrics" toilet seat that'll figure out who you are based on your weight and prints the news you want - not your roommates tabloid garbage.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

King Kong

$1,845,034,000 worldwide and $600,788,188 are the all-time boxoffice records for a single movie, TITANIC, first released on December 19, 1997

Target your co-workers with USB air darts

It’s been a while since a USB toy excited us as much as these compressed-air darts — available through Marks & Spencer, of all places, for a mere £19.50 ($33.43).

The USB-powered darts come in a set of three, are, uh, Mac and PC-compatible, and can be controlled via a mouse. We’re already making plans to figure out how to control a set over VNC so we can deploy these against the dude in the next cube while we’re a safe distance away.

He’ll never know what hit him.

If you like weird hats, this is for you.....

I love hats. I have all sorts at home. I found this site.

Who needs another boring baseball cap? Be the life of any party or give the greatest gift in the world with any of the Hilarious Hats. These hats are not only unbelievably funny, but they are of top quality and very durable. One size fits all with all of our hats, as they are either elastic or adjustable.And lots of other interesting christmas gifts.

Monday, December 05, 2005

The enduring appeal of King Kong

As Peter Jackson's new version of King Kong receives its world premiere on Monday, the BBC News website looks at the lasting legacy of the original film.

Top 25 DVDs

It's official. Thanks to DVDs, the wow factor has passed from the multiplex to the home. Movie attendance in 2005 is down eight percent. Why? Because fans want to show off their home-theater systems with DVDs, especially the ones packed with bonus features. Here's the pick of the crop.

Now I want to know what your favorite DVD of this year is....

The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less

Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong nuclear interaction. Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and helium production. Density perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local contraction. Cluster formation. Reionization? Violent relaxation. Virialization. Biased galaxy formation? Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization. Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive star formation. Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion. Core contraction. Envelope expansion. Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen, and silicon fusion. Iron production. Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals injection. Star formation. Supernova explosions. Star formation. Condensation. Planetesimal accretion. Planetary differentiation. Crust solidification. Volatile gas expulsion. Water condensation. Water dissociation. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption. Photosynthetic unicellular organisms. Oxidation. Mutation. Natural selection and evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual reproduction. Fossilization. Land exploration. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion. Glaciation. Homo sapiens manifestation. Animal domestication. Food surplus production. Civilization! Innovation. Exploration. Religion. Warring nations. Empire creation and destruction. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation without representation. Revolution. Constitution. Election. Expansion. Industrialization. Rebellion. Emancipation Proclamation. Invention. Mass production. Urbanization. Immigration. World conflagration. League of Nations. Suffrage extension. Depression. World conflagration. Fission explosions. United Nations. Space exploration. Assassinations. Lunar excursions. Resignation. Computerization. World Trade Organization. Terrorism. Internet expansion. Reunification. Dissolution. World-Wide Web creation. Composition. Extrapolation?

Friday, December 02, 2005

50 greatest "independent" films

King Kong Review

I am an extra in the new King Kong movie due out in 2 weeks. I am looking forward to see if I actually get on screen.

Here is one of the first reviews of the film. It looks like its going to be another great Peter Jackson movie

Amaze Me

Mazes I love doing maze puzzles. Here is a good site.

Skyscraper gives city the shudders

Taipei 101 is a building with a lot to boast about. Standing 508 metres high, it is the world's tallest. And weighing in at 700,000 tonnes, it must be among the heaviest.But the sheer size of the Taiwan skyscraper has raised unexpected concerns that may have far-reaching implications for the construction of other buildings and man-made megastructures.

Taipei 101 is thought to have triggered two recent earthquakes because of the stress that it exerts on the ground beneath it.


A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a National Organization for Women gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect whether or not an individual is mentally challenged who appears to be completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."

"What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'"

The woman thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example, would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Views from space

This is worth have a look to see if you can spot your house from space.

The Coolest Thing to do in Dubai

Ski Dubai is the first in-door ski resort in the Middle East and offers an amazing snow setting to enjoy skiing, snowboarding and tobogganing or just playing in the snow. Young or old, there is something for everyone, from the beginner to the snow sport enthusiast. Ski Dubai is a unique mountain-themed attraction that offers you the opportunity to enjoy real snow in Dubai all year round.

Extreme Streaker !!!!!!!!!!!!

A naked man darted from a sport-utility vehicle into a downtown Washington office building at lunchtime yesterday and then jumped to his death from the eighth floor, officials said.

The man double-parked in the 1000 block of 15th Street NW about noon, bolted from his still-running gray Jeep Cherokee, dashed past a crowd on the street and ran into the lobby of an office building, witnesses said.

Police were still trying to identify the man yesterday and to determine why he jumped. Witnesses also were trying to sort out what happened. The man had no apparent connection to the building, according to people who work there.

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